Archive for glimpses of whit

On Being a Student…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on September 28, 2009 by Whit.

Right now, I’m sitting in the student commons building in front of the over priced Chikfila in the snack bar. (No really, like $6 for a cool wrap!)

I just finished a nutrition test that I think I did pretty well on, but I won’t know until Wednesday.

It’s weird… sitting here. Around all these… uhhh kids. teens… they seem like kids anyway. They’re talking about the parties they went to this weekend, and who-made-out-with-who in a drunken stupor. And I’m trying to decide if I should go pump now… or later.

The girl next to me is having a red and blue mixed icee for breakfast, and there’s some volleyball players at a table across the room hoping they don’t get drug tested in the next two weeks- guess they had a little too much fun this weekend.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some parents here too. There’s some young married couples and an interspersed mother. This university even has family housing… so we ARE out there, but I think we’re few and far between, and trying to blend in.

I think there’s a certain depth of character that comes from failing- like from really screwing things up. You can just tell that some people are new at this whole adult business…and they’re doing the best they can.

(God, I hope my boys never have to worry about whether or not they’re drug tested.)

There it is… that creeping-up-of-motherhood. It’s not that I’m judging those around me… I just want them to be careful. Be safe. I want them to know that how they perform now- in class, not on Saturday- will drastically affect they’re future. They NEED to know that.

But for now, I will just sit here on the computer, sip my water, and occasionally invite one over for a real dinner, one with protein and vegetables, with my family.

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I’m not going to apologize…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on September 22, 2009 by Whit.

… that I haven’t blogged. I’m a mom with two kids, a husband, 4 classes, and a messy house. A messy life really…

Right now, I’m setting goals to get things straight and do things the right way. Actually be diligent in my studies, get the house straight and organized, keep the monsters and ninjas at bay.

Lately, I’ve been excited about some new things.  I just bought an ergo baby carrier and a pair of toms shoes, and I’m anxiously awaiting their arrival. I have two tests on Wednesday, and today I had to play with a previously dissected moldy cat.

The baby is puling up to standing and is crawling around like a beetle! Kid.the.first hasn’t had a (serious) accident in a few months and is saying please, thank you, and you-berry-welcome.

Things are new and fresh in my marriage.

Life is exciting around this house.

Nursing School

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on May 27, 2009 by Whit.

I kept trying to find a way to write this post without sounding super cheesy. It’s hard sometimes, not being cheesy when a lot of your dreams are based in faith and optimism.

I thought about nursing school in the past, but all I could think about was grumpy old men and suppositories. Gross, but it’s a reality.

Anyway… I chose nursing for a million reasons, and here are a few of them. I want to provide financially for my family. It seems like there are hiring freezes on everything these days, except for nurses. I’m not interested in sitting behind a desk all day. I’d rather be up moving around. I want to be able to help others… I want to support worthwhile organizations. I want to travel to other countries to help people. That takes skill and money… nursing provides both.

My hope after I graduate is to get my masters… torn between anesthesia and midwifery. Who knows, maybe I’ll do both.

TRP- A Big Announcement

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on May 6, 2009 by Whit.

Okay… so sorry, no post yesterday. (I do hope you enjoyed my venture into Not Me! Monday- I think it might become a regular event around here.) On Tuesdays, I usually write my post for Mama Speaks, and that takes up the majority of my writing time.

So today… I have an announcement to make, and you’re going to have to wait until I get this all out on paper computer screen before you get to it. So put on your mud boots and wade through some of this with me.

In my first “The Reality Project” post, I deleted a paragraph… mostly because I knew this post was coming and I thought it would fit better here. I was talking about hiding our failures… more specifically, not filling in all the blanks on facebook. I’ve learned that if you don’t fill in all the blanks, people just start to assume. We’ll get to that in a minute.

When I graduated high school, I walked into a fantastic opportunity. I had a free ride through college. My dad was (and is) on staff at Berry College- one of the most beautiful places in the world and I had a decent ACT score. College was not going to cost me one. single. dime. thanks to dependent tuition remission and a modest academic scholarship. When I got to Berry, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I took the entire opportunity for granted. God placed the entire world in my lap and I lollygagged and changed my major something like 4 different times. After two years of indecision, I dropped out.

The only thing I did know at the time, was that I was tired of being bounced around between my parents and that I wanted a life of my own. I wanted to stand on my own two feet, so I got a real job (making VERY little) and pretty much told my husband to propose to me. Six months later, we were married. A year later, we were pregnant.  Welcome to adulthood.

Back to the facebook thing, I’m sure that if you ask anybody I went to high school with- there would be no question that I have a degree of some form or fashion. I was always a “good” kid who made decent grades. I stayed on the high side of mediocrity. Since I dropped out of school, I’ve never filled in those blanks… When most of my friends were graduating, I was in labor. Ever since then, I’ve felt inadequate. For crying out loud, some of my classmates are doctors now! I guess it is some consolation that when they’re 35 and leaving a restaurant with a crying infant I’ll have a 13 year old and a 10 year old… 

Well, I tried to go back to school after Jack was a year old, but there was a major setback… I don’t think I was really committed. I went to a community college for a semester and all I have to show for it is $3000 in student loans. Now that I know that my identity isn’t wrapped up in whatever degree I don’t have… now that I don’t feel quite so inadequate… now that my heart has been forever changed…

I’m going back to school and I start in 3 weeks and I am SO excited.

(And I’m going to go fill in those blanks now… I’m just not sure if I’m strong enough to publish it to the news feed…)

Don’t worry- I’ll share more details later, mmmkay?

TRP- Church

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on May 1, 2009 by Whit.

My relationship with Christ began when I was 12 years old. I went to church when I was a little kid- but that’s all it was… going to church. The church of my early youth was the pew-typical Southern Baptist church with hymns and the non-existent 3rd verse. I had to wear dresses. We made leather embossed leather key chains and paperweights for our parents at vacation bible school, and there was always an Easter egg hunt.

Sometime after my parents divorced and we moved, we stopped going. I don’t know why specifically… We visited different churches sporadically, but that was really all there was to it. Then, around the 5th grade, I made friends with a really neat girl, Katie (who surprisingly was part of the “bad kids”), who I spent the night with on Saturday nights sometimes. She went to this really big church that didn’t sing hymns and it was okay to wear jeans. One Sunday, after I had visited a few times, my mom brought the whole family out. We walked down the aisle to join the church and I remember my mom telling the lady, “and Whitney wants to get saved.”

I did? I didn’t say anything about getting saved, but if all I had to do was say a prayer and get baptized, then why not? It all made sense to me intellectually and I never doubted that any of it was true. So that day, sometime in August, wearing some ugly denim dress with sunflowers on it with the converse high tops I had worn in my Dad’s wedding, I got saved. I remember feeling self conscious standing up there on the platform. It felt so awkward, but I know that I really was saved that day.

Then there’s that word again… “saved.” I’ve never been particularly comfortable with that word in that context. To me it seems hokey, corny… Yes, saved from “eternal hellfire and damnation.” But isn’t it so much more than that…

From that day and on out, I was a part of that church… and a part of that youth group. I like to think that I was one of the core, but I wasn’t. At the time, that church was only 8 or 9 years old and there were kids that had been there since the beginning… and I hadn’t been. I didn’t have the history there… my “faith” wasn’t “deep” enough. I didn’t know enough Bible verses. I felt like an outsider… but I went to church, and I went to camp, and I went to choir. I was trying to be a part of the “it” youth group at the “it” church in the area, and I didn’t fit in.

It wasn’t until I was older that I realized that it wasn’t all about going, or participating, or fitting in, or even Bible verses- but that’s for another day.

Fast forward to now… I go to a church that I think is pretty neat. I can’t necessarily say that I’m “fed” there, but I’ve always felt that it was my responsibility to take care of that myself. The worship is pretty awesome and for the first time- I see a heart for more than just writing a check. These folks get their hands dirty, and that’s encouraging to see. But still, I struggle with belonging.  I wish I knew why this was so difficult for me…

I had originally titled this post “Faith,” but then it occurred to me that talking about church and then talking about the real meat of my faith would be way too much to cover in one post. For me, church and faith have always been too very separate things. Yes… they feed off each other. Church is fueled by faith and the flame is fanned by church, but I still keep them separate in my life.

In one sense this is a good thing. Ryan and I have been burned by church, and I was able to keep from taking that out on God. But by keeping my relationship with God focused mainly outside the church walls, am I limiting my church? Weigh in… I want to hear your thoughts on this one…

So Dang Hard…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on April 6, 2009 by Whit.

Why is it that life-changing-uber-important-pivotal decisions always have to be made over the time span of days or minutes, rather than months or weeks of prayer, thought, and meditation? These things… they beg to be decided. In the meantime, your life… your will… your whole being hangs teetering scarily on the edge of some great ravine.

I thought I had this figured out already. Didn’t I have it all neatly bundled and sewn up into its own tiny compartment of my life? What happened to that firm resolution? That unyielding inclination… where did it go?

I have decided… but do I want to risk changing my mind… my plans? And this isn’t just about me anymore.  Haven’t we been here before… in this exact same place, same moment, same thought? And haven’t the results always been the same?

God, why is this so dang hard….

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Let’s get it started… UBP 2009

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on March 20, 2009 by Whit.

Nice to Meet You

Hey- welcome to my blog.  I’m Whit…it’s nice to meet you.  My husband kind of makes fun of me because on all my online ventures (twitter, facebook, blogging), I go by Whit and in “real” life, everyone still calls me Whitney.  Every since I got married I’ve wanted people to start calling me “Whit” because I think my first name and married name sound a little rhyme-y. So ever since then, I’ve just started introducing myself to everyone as “Whit”- call it an identity crisis, but he still thinks it’s weird. 2.2.2002 Speaking of the hubby, here’s a picture of us from high school.  I know, scary right?  Amazingly enough most of my current “grown up” friends married their high school sweet hearts, so I guess I should take it seriously when my boys are old enough to date.  That picture was taken in February of 2002, back when I used to keep my hair permed.  It’s straight as a board now, but other than that, we both still look pretty much the same.  Ryan is a network engineer and general “techie.”  He’s not a nerd though.  (and no, he won’t fix your computer).  He spends most of his time at work maintaining and constructing fiber optic networks, but he also deals with radio frequency and maintains the company’s two-way radio stuff.  For fun, he has a second career.  Ryan And Whitley wedding082He’s a partner in a sound company called Ready or Not, and he spends weekends running sound for small to medium size gigs here and there.  Some of the people on his resume: Casting Crowns, Mark Wills, Charlie Daniels, Third Day, and The Jonas Brothers- among others.  You can read more about his thoughts on his blog, over here. We’ve been married since October of 2004.  Gosh, we look like kids in that picture.  Seriously though, Ryan is one of the smartest people I know.  He didn’t do that great in school, but he’s an expert in so many fields.  He was even, at age 12, the youngest licensed ham radio operator in Georgia, north of Atlanta. Even in the 6th grade, he had teachers asking him to figure out their computers for them, and that was circa DSCF08561995. But back to the story…we spent a little time just being “us,” but we had a big surprise come in the fall of 2005.  Yes, we were pregnant.  (We’re just not great planners.)  I was working as an IV tech at a local hospital, and Ryan was self employed at the time. In May of 2006, the Jack-o-saur was born.   You’ll hear him referred to by many names around here.  In earlier days, he was “the full focus child”, but I guess that doesn’t apply anymore.  But often, he’s “Kid the first,” “JackAttack,” or even “The Attack Human…” He’s polishing off his 2nd year as we speak, and he keeps me on my toes.  His DSCN0779 current interests: being outside (all the time, regardless of the weather), climbing on everything, Bugs Bunny (preferably in his Merrie Melodies days), macaroni and cheese, and all things Pixar.  He’ll talk your ear off (he comes by it honestly), though some times it requires a translator.  A typical sentence for Jack goes something like this, “bugs rabbit hab it a candew wif marbind a mahtian.”  (Bugs Bunny and Marvin the Martian have a candle- which of course means the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.) The picture above on the left is at 8 weeks, and the one on the right is fairly current- I think it was Thanksgiving 2008.  After Jack was born, I stayed at home and DSCN1361have done an odd job here or there since, but mostly, I’ve really enjoyed having the job title of “Mama.” Fast forward a bit, and we’ll move on to “Baby Dos,” as he was  called throughout my pregnancy.  He wasn’t officially named until his birthday, so  he got some interesting nicknames.  Ira, named after my granddaddy, turned 4 weeks old yesterday, which I guess explains the absence of recent blog posts.  Scroll down about 2 posts for his birth story.  Aside from a fierce case of baby acne and being poked in his sleep by his big brother, his life has been fairly uneventful so far.  His interests include nursing (aka “the ninny”), sleeping, pooping, and more “ninny.”  When asked how Ira was doing around week one, my husband replied, “Ira’s doing DSCN1509great.  He spends most of the day staring at the back of his eyelids or a boob- I’d be just fine too.” Ahhh…. the joy of a newborn (and an occasionally crass spouse).  He’s already up to 10 lbs (almost), and is still fitting comfortably in newborn sizes.  Unfortunately, with one in February and the other in May, most of my favorite itsy-bitsy’s from Kid-the-First have been too cold for Ira, but today IS the first day of Spring… maybe we’ll get lucky.  Well I guess that’s us… that’s my family.  Now that you know me, tell me a little bit about yourself.  I’m on twitter and facebook, so befriend or follow me.  And, I’m looking for some new blogroll friends so leave a comment and I’ll be sure to check you out!

Namaste.