TRP- A Big Announcement

Okay… so sorry, no post yesterday. (I do hope you enjoyed my venture into Not Me! Monday- I think it might become a regular event around here.) On Tuesdays, I usually write my post for Mama Speaks, and that takes up the majority of my writing time.

So today… I have an announcement to make, and you’re going to have to wait until I get this all out on paper computer screen before you get to it. So put on your mud boots and wade through some of this with me.

In my first “The Reality Project” post, I deleted a paragraph… mostly because I knew this post was coming and I thought it would fit better here. I was talking about hiding our failures… more specifically, not filling in all the blanks on facebook. I’ve learned that if you don’t fill in all the blanks, people just start to assume. We’ll get to that in a minute.

When I graduated high school, I walked into a fantastic opportunity. I had a free ride through college. My dad was (and is) on staff at Berry College- one of the most beautiful places in the world and I had a decent ACT score. College was not going to cost me one. single. dime. thanks to dependent tuition remission and a modest academic scholarship. When I got to Berry, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I took the entire opportunity for granted. God placed the entire world in my lap and I lollygagged and changed my major something like 4 different times. After two years of indecision, I dropped out.

The only thing I did know at the time, was that I was tired of being bounced around between my parents and that I wanted a life of my own. I wanted to stand on my own two feet, so I got a real job (making VERY little) and pretty much told my husband to propose to me. Six months later, we were married. A year later, we were pregnant.  Welcome to adulthood.

Back to the facebook thing, I’m sure that if you ask anybody I went to high school with- there would be no question that I have a degree of some form or fashion. I was always a “good” kid who made decent grades. I stayed on the high side of mediocrity. Since I dropped out of school, I’ve never filled in those blanks… When most of my friends were graduating, I was in labor. Ever since then, I’ve felt inadequate. For crying out loud, some of my classmates are doctors now! I guess it is some consolation that when they’re 35 and leaving a restaurant with a crying infant I’ll have a 13 year old and a 10 year old… 

Well, I tried to go back to school after Jack was a year old, but there was a major setback… I don’t think I was really committed. I went to a community college for a semester and all I have to show for it is $3000 in student loans. Now that I know that my identity isn’t wrapped up in whatever degree I don’t have… now that I don’t feel quite so inadequate… now that my heart has been forever changed…

I’m going back to school and I start in 3 weeks and I am SO excited.

(And I’m going to go fill in those blanks now… I’m just not sure if I’m strong enough to publish it to the news feed…)

Don’t worry- I’ll share more details later, mmmkay?

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