This post is going to sound weird… but I’m not going to apologize for it.  I guess I’ll just jump right in.

It seems like lately my eyes have been opened wide to a number of things that have affected me profoundly.   Every day, I read something new.  I see some video.  I hear a story.  Each one breaks my heart.  I have always held many passions- many, many diverse passions, and I have a desire to keep my heart fully alive and awake to the world around me.  Maybe that’s why I can’t ignore these things.  I can’t turn a blind eye to these things.

Adoption is something very close to my heart.  I don’t know why…. yet.  I would one day like to adopt, but I don’t clearly see that opportunity in the future.  I am moved by adoption stories.  This adoption was just complete and turned a couple into a loving family of 3.  This family is in the long, arduous process of adopting 2 children from Haiti.  Their 2nd child was adopted domestically.  This family is grieving today.  The child they were adopting (a biological sister of their daughter) passed away unexpectedly on Saturday. In The Irresistible Revolution by Shaine Claiborne, he brought an interesting point to the forefront of my mind.  If I am going to stand and say that I feel abortion is morally wrong, I had better be ready to love on some single mothers and adopt some babies.

I guess onto the big “A” word.  Someone posted this video on facebook today and I watched it.  This movie is about a woman who went in to have an abortion at 22 weeks.  She ended up delivering the infant, alive,  in the clinic’s restroom and cradling her son for all 11 minutes of his life.  The video doesn’t take either side of the big debate, but really tells a true story of a woman and the injustice done to her and her baby.  With the election coming up, abortion has been getting a lot of publicity.  I don’t really desire to give it any more, but this movie trailer affected me.

Another movie trailer I have seen recently is for the film Call:Response. It’s a rockumentary about human trafficking.  It is SO wrong and we are SO blind to its prevalence.  I think about the injustice done to children all over the world and I ache.  I think about my sponsored child, Maria, in Peru, and the kids at this rescue center in Haiti.  I think about babies orphaned by AIDS in Africa, and children that have no water to drink.  I think about this initiative to bring water to those kids and wonder why I’ve never heard of it before.  I think and dream and wish I could do more to help.

I’m learning and reading about natural childbirth.  My husband asks, “Why, on earth,  would you want to do that to yourself?”  I want to help educate women about things like cloth diapering, breastfeeding, and natural parenting, but that’s not going with the flow.  I want to start a business to help other women diaper their children with REAL DIAPERS, but I can’t bring it up with my family, because it would be weird.  I feel like everything around me screams “Be normal!” “Be like everybody else!”  “Just stop being so weird!” But I’m not like everybody else.  I’m just a mom.  I stay at home.  We’re broke and I can’t send millions of dollars to these causes.  I’m struggling to come up with $18 for my sponsored child to have a Christmas present!  I feel so helpless, so powerless to make a difference.  There’s so much that I want to accomplish in this life, but I am still so clueless as to how it’s going to happen.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?  Just so overwhelmed.

One Response to “Overwhelmed”

  1. UM YES …. welcome to my world!

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